all women were bigger and stronger than you
and thought they were smarter
women were the ones who started wars
too many of your friends had been raped by women wielding giant dildos
and no K-Y Jelly
the state trooper
who pulled you over on the New Jersey Turnpike
was a woman
and carried a gun
the ability to menstruate
was the prerequisite for most high-paying jobs
your attractiveness to women depended
on the size of your penis
every time women saw you
they’d hoot and make jerking motions with their hands
women were always making jokes
about how ugly penises are
and how bad sperm tastes
you had to explain what’s wrong with your car
to big sweaty women with greasy hands
who stared at your crotch
in a garage where you are surrounded
by posters of naked men with hard-ons
men’s magazines featured cover photos
of 14-year-old boys
tucked into the front of their jeans
and articles like:
“How to tell if your wife is unfaithful”
“What your doctor won’t tell you about your prostate”
“The truth about impotence”
the doctor who examined your prostate
was a woman
and called you “Honey”
you had to inhale your boss’s stale cigar breath
as she insisted that sleeping with her
was part of the job
you couldn’t get away because
the company dress code required
you wear shoes
designed to keep you from running
And what if
after all that
women still wanted you
to love them.
For the Men Who Still Don’t Get It, written 20 years ago by Carol Diehl.
She wrote a post about the history of this poem that is worth reading.
What This Man Found In A Bag Of Mulch Will Blow Your Mind. What He Did With It Will Melt Your Heart.
A Florida man opened a new bag of mulch and, to his surprise, he found a baby squirrel inside. We found the man on Reddit, where he is known by the handle “Nadtacular,” but now the Internet is starting to know him because of his compassion. The baby squirrel appeared to be only days old when he found it. It was so young, he initially mistook it for a mouse or rat. But he decided to take care of it, and lucky for us, document his its development.
As you can see from the photographs, a bond developed between the man and the squirrel, which he named “Zip.” There is no definitive answer to how baby Zip found its way into the bag of mulch, but it’s safe to say Zip appears to be enjoying his new home. It’s also safe to say that this man’s selfless act has restored our hope in humanity. Way to go!
Via Slightly Viral
nothing compares to that feeling when you discover a new book and it just consumes your life and you literally want to eat and breathe this book and when it’s over you think about it for days and days and the idea of reading a new book repulses you because all you can think about is the flawlessness that was the book that you just read.